Numbness - the only feeling I know
by booey1234
Summary: Cato and Clove are both destined to enter the games; however, they both encounter several complications on the way. Without resolving all of these problems, they enter the games, where many of their problems intensify.
1. Chapter 1

** rated M for language and possible sexual encounters in the future. **

* * *

_Numb._

That was how my limbs started to feel after being locked in the "ice room" for over an hour. I am fairly sure that if anyone who was not me and was not used to this treatment, would have been dead by now. However, I had endured this punishment since I was a little girl, and my body adjusted pretty well. I ran around the room, throwing knives every now and then to keep myself from completely freezing.

"Clove fucking Eshton, if I ever see you skipping training one more time, you will not be allowed to enter my damn house ever again. Do you understand?" My mother screeched from the outside.

I mumbled a yes, and the door opened slowly; I was met by a brilliant ray of sunshine pouring in from the window directly outside of the ice room. I stood there for a while until one of my mother's guards entered and escorted me into my room. Most of the other victors do not own guards, but my mother was the most desirable victor, and we constantly had men trickling through our door, trying to appeal to my mother. Had my father, another victor, been alive, all of this could have been prevented. My mother had "accidently" killed my father during one of her outbursts, and I have resented her ever since.

I sulked in my room until I fell asleep on my large bed. Sunlight reached my bedroom and ferocious knocking could be heard from outside.

"Clove, if you don't wake up right now and head off to the academy, I will barge through this door, and it will be the end of you," my mother yelled.

I groaned and quickly got dressed. Knowing that my mother will enter my room anytime soon, I dashed out of my room and out of the house, and I ran to the best training academy in district two.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't my star student, Clove," cooed my trainer, Brutus. "You're actually here on time for once."

I nodded curtly once and started heading towards the knives when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"My name is Cato," the owner of the hand introduced himself.

Quickly I turned around; I did not particularly enjoy other people touching me, especially if I did not know them. I turned around to face one of the other best students in the academy; he was extremely tall, blonde, muscular, and frankly good looking – if you were into that kind of pointless fawning.

"What do you want," I demanded.

Cato was obviously taken aback; he was used to girls falling all over him for his good looks. "I thought maybe we could train together, I could teach you some tricks. You being so tiny and all," Cato murmured smugly.

"I'll have you know, I can beat your sorry ass and have you killed in less than two minutes if I wanted. You don't need to teach me anything, fucking creep. Stop talking to me," I snapped at him.

Cato shot me an incredulous look and chuckled, "Suit yourself." He walked away arrogantly, feeding off the looks the girls gave him.

"What an arrogant prick," I murmured to myself. Shrugging off the encounter, I continued walking towards the knives station. Once I reached the station, I picked up one of my favorite knives and practiced with it. I envisioned the dummy was Cato and threw it with exact precision straight towards its heart. This was not the first time some weirdo freak attempted to befriend me, but it was the first time that someone as popular and well-known as _Cato_ to do so. I shook my head and continued to throw, pushing the thought to the back of my head.

"You're going to throw out your arm one day," the familiar voice said.

I did not even bother glancing at him and simply scurried away. The heavy footsteps could be heard following behind me.

Cato shouted, "Clove, wait up!"

"What the fuck do you want, and how do you know my name," I retorted.

"Who doesn't know your name? You're one of the best students this place has ever had, I mean besides me of course," Cato flashed an arrogant smile.

"I said, what do you want?" I asked sternly.

Cato took a big breath before replying, "I have been watching you train for a while, and might I say I was impressed. I thought you would be neat to hang around, like as friends."

I almost laughed hysterically, "The last time someone wanted to be my "friend" got a knife in their back. I don't think you want to be my friend."

Cato shrugged, "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

I glared at him, trying to get the truth out of him. What the fuck does this boy want with me. Before I could voice that thought, my trainer called me over. Quietly thanking him, I ran to Brutus.

"You owe me one," Brutus stated. "What did the big boy want anyways?"

I shrugged.

"Looks like he wanted you or something," Brutus laughed, as if that was the most unreasonable thing in the world.

"I don't know, nor do I care."

"Well that's good, we can't have you start thinking about boys the year you're going to enter the games. You have to keep your head straight and eyes on the prize," Brutus declared.

I nodded. This year was my year, the year I enter the games and come back the victor, bringing glory to district two. And no one is going to mess it up, especially not a stupid boy like Cato.

"It's time for lunch anyways. Go eat," Brutus ordered.

All of the students, including me, were put on a special diet to keep our bodies in optimum condition. I nodded and headed toward my table, where my lunch was already placed. I plunked down on the chair and began devouring my food when I heard the annoying voice once again.

"Never eaten chicken soup before, Clove?" Cato chuckled.

Ignoring the obnoxious boy, I continued to delve into my food. He threw his food tray onto the table and sat down right next to me.

"I thought I'd get to know you a little better," Cato began. "After all, I have to decide if you're worth allying with in the arena."

I almost choked; I hadn't heard of who the male volunteer was going to be, nor did I really care. I was going to end up killing him anyways.

Cato snorted, "Did that surprise you? Are you afraid of me now?"

This time I snorted, "You and I both know, that I can take you down easily. Now if you'll excuse me." Being finished with my food, I stood up and headed back towards the knife station. Generally after lunch time there is a thirty minute resting period, a time for us to digest food and socialize, I suppose. I always spend my time at the knife station, as this relaxes me the most. Save for the occasional dummy who wants to make conversation with me, I am always alone at this station. However today was not one of those days, one of the occasional dummies wanted to make conversation with me.

Cato almost silently slipped next to me and grabbed a delicate knife. The contrast was almost comical; Cato's gigantic hand gripping a petite knife was a sight to see.

I sighed, "What do you want."

"Teach me how to use these," Cato ordered.

"No," I left my beloved knife station and headed to the sparring station. If I could not let out some steam through knives, I could at least punch someone and feel better. Of course once I arrived, everyone shrunk back in terror of being assigned to spar with me, all except one.

"I want to spar her," Cato's demanding voice boomed from behind me.

Every eye turned to stare at Cato and then bore into me. Whispers flittered around the training room as the two best students were about to go head to head. Generally, the trainers do not allow boys to fight against girls unless they are deemed to be a volunteer, in this case Cato and I both are.

"Fine," I huffed.

Cato taunted, "Unless you're afraid I'm going to kill you."

"I said fine, I will spar you," I snapped at him.

We both entered the boxing-like arena, and prepared ourselves to fight. For the first time, I was scared. No, I wasn't scared, I was beyond terrified. Cato was at least a foot taller than I am, weighing at least a hundred pounds more; he was rumored to be able to kill people by simply breaking their necks, and I was afraid I would have the same fate as his previous kills.

Cato smirked, and all thoughts of uncertainty dissipated. 'I am Clove Eshton, and I never lose. Even to a burly bulk of muscle like Cato,' I reassured myself.

Cato took a step towards me. "I'll go easy on you, don't worry," he whispered smugly.

"No need to," I spat back at him.

We both took our places, and the bell signaling the start of a game rung. Generally at these sorts of sparring matches, screams and yells egging the competitors on could be heard from those watching, but not right now. The whole training center was deadly silent, and almost everyone in the room gathered around to watch me and Cato go head to head.

Not wanting to make the first move, I was eyeing my opponent to see how he spars. Cato lunged at me with a fist pointed at my face; I managed to step aside, and he missed by a mere second.

'So he's more of a direct sparer,' I thought. 'Well, that's good.'

Deftly, I swung my right foot to his side, and beamed when I felt flesh. Cato groaned, but quickly regained his strength. He ran towards me so quickly I had no time to think; he pinned me to the ground. His whole body was sprawled on top of mine, and his face was less than two inches from mine.

Cato stared at me, as if he were trying to bore into my soul.

I stared back in sheer terror.


	2. Chapter 2

**reviews are much appreciated!**

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Cato smirked and whispered, "Are we friends now?"

He stared at me for about two seconds, waiting for my reply, before lunging at me. It was not a sort of lunge I had ever encountered; it was far from it. The following minute was a blur, but all I could remember was that Cato – big, arrogant, and muscular Cato, swooped down to give me a kiss.

I was not fawning over him, far from it. The moment his lips touched mine, I nearly tore Cato off of me and punched him in the face. Before anyone could react, I stalked off of the arena and out of the academy.

'What was he thinking? Is he fucking insane? We are going to go into the games, which is less than two months away from now, and he decides to _kiss_ me? Fucking stupid idiot,' I yelled inwardly.

Fully knowing that my mother would kick me out of the house if I walked in during training hours, I ran to one of the alleys where nobody could find me. I leaned against it and started sorting out my thoughts.

'Obviously he is just trying to mess with me,' I convinced myself. 'He is already planning on how he is going to kill me by shaking me up like this. Yes, that's it. The only obvious answer.'

I was so deep into my own thoughts; I did not hear the footsteps resonate in the alley behind me. The now familiar yet increasingly annoying voice spoke to me.

"There you are," Cato said in the midst of panting. "How'd you like that for the start of our friendship, huh?"

I glared at him, trying to think of a way to get rid of him. When nothing came to my mind, I slunk away, and then a thought slipped into my mind that brought me to stop.

'Since when did Clove Eshton run away from her problems? I am a fucking Eshton, and we never run away from problems.'

With the new thought in mind, I quickly turned around to face my problem.

"What the fuck do you want _Cato_," I snapped at him.

Cato spoke in an amused tone, "To be your friend. Nothing more, nothing less."

I scoffed, "Oh, I'm sure you go around kissing all of your friends. Now tell me what you want."

"How do you know I don't?" Cato inquired.

"You're right. You must have no friends, then. Only a pathetic loser would want to befriend you," I mocked.

Cato shrugged as if my words mean nothing to him. "You know I won the fight back there, right?"

One thing that annoys me more than getting _kissed_ by someone was losing to someone – an act that is just unacceptable.

"It is absolutely unheard of that someone fucking _kisses _his opponent during a sparring match. That's against the rules, so I win, and you damn right know it," I demanded. I took one step closer to him, in an attempt to intimidate him.

Cato shrugged again, "Do you want to finish what we started earlier?"

By his tone and the way a smirk sits on his face, I could tell he did not mean the sparring match.

"Fuck you Cato," I murmured.

"You wish," he chuckled.

At that point, I almost burst and lunged at him, but I caught myself, not wanting to repeat what happened this morning. I needed to get rid of this problem and fast; I felt around my jacket to see if I brought any knives, or any sort of weapon for that matter, and cursed myself when I hadn't.

"Look Cato. I don't know what you want with me or why you keep bothering me insisting we become _friends_, but I want you to leave me _alone_," I threatened and with that I ran home.

"What the fuck Clove. What. The. Fuck," my mother emphasized each word. "You kissed Cato _Crulla_, and not only that, in public?"

I silently hoped she had no weapons around her and quickly sprinted to my room, but my mother was fast too. Crulla. That surname sounded awfully familiar, but I could not place where I had heard it before.

"Get back here, Clove. You have one minute to explain yourself."

I rolled my eyes and glared at my mother. "I don't have to explain myself when nothing happened."

"Then what is this I hear about you kissing a Crulla _and_ leaving training twenty minutes early?"

I sighed, "Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing, _mother_." I ran up the three floors to get to my room and slammed the door. For a good measure, I locked the door to keep my mother out, so that I can think to myself. Enraged, I plopped onto my bed and looked up at the ceiling.

"Daddy?" I whispered. "Daddy, just know that I miss you, and I wish you were here. So fucking much. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything, I'm sorry daddy.

"I'm entering the games this year, daddy, and I swear I'm going to win. Not for the bitch you married, but for you, daddy. I'm going to win for you, I promise."

I sighed and turned over onto my side, all the while mulling over the name Culla. The name was awfully familiar, where had I heard it before?

* * *

"_What the hell, Marsun. What the hell?" I heard my father silently berate my mother, as if he knew I were listening._

_I was in my room, and my parents were in the room directly below mine so I could make out most of their conversation. My father had just returned from his prolonged business trip and found my mother had been cheating on him. _

_My mother retorted, "What Tarvis. Are you just jealous here or something?" I could almost hear my mother rolling her eyes. _

"_I was on the other side of district, working my ass off to feed you and your daughter, and you were here fucking Harthin Culla? I don't fucking understand. Enlighten me Marsun," my father's distraught voice asked. _

"_I was just lonely, okay. The little girl, you call your daughter, is a sorry excuse of a human being and does not deserve to live. She wouldn't even be alive if you hadn't been so against killing the thing, and now I have to live with the consequences, while you are off somewhere doing who knows what. Am I not allowed to relieve some of my loneliness?" _

_My father sighed, "Not with another man, Marsun! And Clove is the best thing that has happened out of this marriage, don't you dare speak about her that way. If you're so lonely why don't you try spending time with our daughter, not some man you barely know. Especially not Culla, who is supposed to be one of my good friends."_

* * *

I brought myself back to reality, as I hated delving into my past especially ones that concerned my father. Turning over to the other side, I heaved a sigh.

"Daddy, I will not befriend Cato. I can promise you that; he is a stupid idiot anyways, who holds no respect for girls," I whispered.

In that moment I realized in order to keep both promises, I had to kill Cato – possibly the only person who held interest in me besides my father.


End file.
